Best Weekend#79 – What Are the Odds?

Who are you putting your money on today?

According to Centrebet, Roll Out the Barrel is the red-hot favourite at $1.14.

The mighty stallion isn’t carrying as much weight as previous seasons, so expectations are high.

Some commentators say his lack of policy weight could detract from his appeal.

Meanwhile, Nobody’s Girl has blown out to $5.35. Although an impressive looking filly, there are concerns she’s been trained too hard too young.

Her owners, Joe and Eddie, had high hopes for her in this year’s Melbourne Cup.

But now it seems she’s destined for the glue factory.

All eyes will be on Manly bolter No Holds Baird, a bright new up-and-comer.

Sired by legendary racehorse They Call Me Bruce, the youngster has recently been hobbled by his trainers.

Centrebet puts him at $2.77.

But it’s not just what’s on the racetrack that’s of interest.

There’s the important matter of the sausage sizzle.

The odds are 10-1 against getting a car park anywhere near the polling booth.

Recent times have seen the demise of the election-day sausage sizzle.

The few that remain are strictly onion-free zones.

I ask you – what kind of an Aussie BBQ doesn’t have onion rings?

Furthermore, Sportsbet puts the chance of getting mustard at 20-to-1.

A sad state of affairs indeed.

And forget about leaf litter – what about leaflet litter?

Odds on you’ll be bombarded with bull#*it from the major players, even young colt Green Sox.

As you might have read, he’s Australia’s first emissions-free horse (except for the occasional fart, which is comprised of 20% nitrogen, 50% hydrogen, and 10% each of oxygen, methane and carbon dioxide).

His owner, Bob, plans to tax the carbon content of these emissions at a rate of 25%.

In coming years, Bob plans to cut down on leaflet litter by arming his minions with iPhones, which they can thrust in your face instead of those tree-killing brochures.

Then there’s the matter of what to wear for the big day.

Personally, I favour a tracksuit and ugg boot combination or, if it’s sunny, trackie and thongs.

The autumn racing carnival requires a felt hat rather than straw. I suggest a natty beret to add some je ne sais quoi.

Avoid all exhortations to dress in high heels as – not only will they give you bunions, claw toes and a bad back, they invariably get stuck in the mud.

There will, of course, be a Fashion on the Field contest with two judges – Maria Venuti.

The voter with the least number of baby poo, cereal and milk stains on his/her tracksuit will receive a free voucher for a jumbo-sized coffee.

Whoever you’re putting your money on, have a terrific Rosehill Guineas Election Day!