My first love is now a drug addict.
I’ll never forget the moment I laid eyes on him: the sun glinting off his long ...
Read more...
Have you ever played the death row game?
The question goes like this: If you were on death row, what would you choose as ...
Read more...
This morning I put petrochemicals on my face.
It wasn’t the first time.
I’ve been doing it for about 30 years.
There was also some butoxyethanol, ...
Read more...
I am officially a hypocrite.
Last week I bought an iPad, after spending months telling anyone who’d listen that they were a “waste of ...
Read more...
Is there anything better than sleeping in your childhood home?
Snuggling up in your old bed; cuddling your one-eyed Teddy bear; trying to find ...
Read more...
I reckon there should be separate areas for adults and children everywhere.
Especially at home.
Just imagine: You’d go to a restaurant with a group ...
Read more...
One of the peculiar aspects of the school holidays is the proliferation of play dates.
As a kid, I tagged along with mum and ...
Read more...
I’m thinking of renaming my children Billy-Joe Jim Bob and Brandi Beanblossom.
They’ve suddenly developed American accents.
Last week, I was helping four-year-old Grace with ...
Read more...
Going to the zoo is an educational experience, but not always in a good way.
Sometimes too much knowledge is a bad thing.
Take the ...
Read more...
I’m thinking of entering my homegrown vegetables in this year’s Royal Easter Show.
That is, if there’s a category for zucchini shaped like the ...
Read more...
Of all the bad parenting advice I’ve received over the years, this has got to be the worst: “If you’re in a café ...
Read more...
I wonder how the Queen feels about Aussies celebrating her birthday?
We’re like the black sheep of the family running amok at a terribly ...
Read more...
Who are you putting your money on today?
According to Centrebet, Roll Out the Barrel is the red-hot favourite at $1.14.
The mighty stallion isn’t ...
Read more...
Whoever’s up there pulling our strings has a wonderful sense of humour.
For example, take winter ailments (please, take them!)
Like guided missiles, they target ...
Read more...
“When Daddy dies, can we get a cat?”
This was the first question out of Grace’s mouth on the morning of her fourth birthday.
I ...
Read more...
I’m writing this column wearing a skimpy floral frock, moth-eaten woollen overcoat, scarf, beanie and ugg boots.
Before you race off to call Harper’s ...
Read more...
I feel decidedly uncomfortable around rich people.
Not that I think they’re all mercenary (although billionaire miners protesting about losing a couple of million ...
Read more...
There are two types of people: boycotters and forgivers.
Boycotters will punish service providers for the slightest transgression.
“I asked for a goat milk latte ...
Read more...
Ever had one of those moments where you see – with stunning clarity – exactly where you went wrong?
I had one this week ...
Read more...
Shopping at Aldi is like being on Survivor.
First, you have to complete a puzzle: which little-known brand of baked beans will taste the ...
Read more...
