Bogans

It’s simply unAustrayian.

The city of Logan, on Brisbane’s outskirts, has banned bogans.

The council has lined up local celebs, like pop star Darren Hayes and Olympian Steven Bradbury, to star in a $300,000 advertising blitz.

But the Mayor doesn’t want to include supermodel Catherine McNeil, who once called herself the “bogan from Logan”.

“We want to change the external perception of Logan,” Mayor Pam Parker told News Ltd.

In the words of Logan resident Spanky on news.com.au, “Perhaps spending money on roads, infrastructure and employment would be better. Alas, I guess, for a half edumacated bogan, the proposed campaign makes rooly good cents.”

But the 19-year-old, dubbed “fashion’s latest crush” by the New York Times, is out and proud.

“It’s pretty hard to find Versace in Logan,” McNeil told one interviewer. “I didn’t even know how to say it properly. I shopped at Supre and City Beach.”

This refreshingly down-to-earth and ethereally beautiful woman is now among the world’s top 12 models, gracing the catwalks of Milan, Paris and New York.

With her Amazonian limbs, silky hair and straight, white teeth, she’s not your average bogan.

According to bogan.com.au, the species can usually be characterized by a “pronounced lack of dress sense (flanelette shirt, soiled jeans and black thongs/ugg boots), a lack of personal hygiene (the most common fragrance is Odour of Toilet), a particular choice in motor vehicle (Holden or Ford), a distinct vocabulary (“where’s me f*#kin’ beer, woman”) and the ubiquitous ‘mullet’ hairstyle”.

But the bogan has undergone a Mao-style Cultural Revolution.

Ugg boots are suddenly cool, popularized by world-famous bogan Pamela Anderson, and the mullet is tres chic (although the pronunciation is now ‘mull-AY’).

Locals in Penrith, Logan’s spiritual cousin, have set up a website where those from the “riff” can take a quiz to determine “how ‘Penriff’ are you?”

Some of Australia’s best-known personalities are from Bogan-villes.

Eddy McGuire makes much of his rough and tumble upbringing in Broadmeadows, on the outskirts of Melbourne, describing it as a “great place to bring up a family”.

Kerri-Anne Kennerley and swimmer Geoff Huegill hail from Redcliffe (otherwise known as ‘Redneck’), Logan’s sister city on the other side of Bris-Vegas.

I, too, have fond memories of growing up there. To this day, Dad still drives a Ford – he wouldn’t be seen dead in a Holden.

Singer and TV host Natalie Bassingthwaite is from ‘the Gong’, where self-professed bogans William and Sara Wilson were recently married – in thongs.

Bogan Idol is about to hit our screens, from the creators of SBS show Fat Pizza.

Logan Mayor Pam Parker needs to get with the script and embrace her inner-bogan, when councilors finally decide on the Catherine McNail ad later this month.

Her colleague, Councillor Sean Black, remains defiant.

“Catherine McNeil isn’t scared to shout about being a bogan from Logan, so why should we be?”