Craig Wing and the Black Dog

Craig Wing’s most important legacy will not be his stellar football career. Not even his powerhouse performance on the weekend, hours after being told his grandmother had died.

It will be his brave articulation of being hounded by the black dog.

On the eve of his comeback match, the South Sydney utility spoke about his private misery following four bouts of surgery, the break-up of his long-term relationship and a failed property deal.

“Last year, I was depressed,” he said. “I felt worthless.”

Depression doesn’t play favourites.

From the famous footy star to the man struggling to make ends meet – no-one is immune from its dark shadow.

Men experience depression at half the rate of women, but are three times more likely to commit suicide.

That’s why the words of men like Wing, Eric Bana, Andrew Johns and Garry McDonald are so meaningful.

By speaking out, they have saved countless lives.

Including my dad’s.

In the mid-1990s, Paul Spicer saw an interview with Garry McDonald on Channel Nine’s “A Current Affair”.

For the first time, the renowned actor and comedian spoke about his anxiety disorder.

Dad turned to mum and said, “that’s what I’ve got”.

Those four, simple words made us aware of dad’s living hell.

In his case, the underlying depression was exacerbated by work stress.

The last days of Ansett brought with them changing work practices, leaving employees feeling lost, confused and, seemingly, without a future.

It’s timely to discuss this issue, given the huge numbers of job losses expected this year because of the global financial crisis.

Like many sufferers, dad tried to numb his pain with alcohol and anti-depressants, a combination which brings on suicidal tendencies.

One night, dad emailed a suicide note, explaining why he was about to go out to the car, attach a hose to the exhaust pipe, and have a nice, long sleep.

I found the email in my inbox early the next morning. Relief doesn’t begin to describe how I felt when he answered the phone.

“I just couldn’t do it,” he said, sounding disappointed.

Dad was brief, yet profound, in his description of the black dog, clinging tenaciously to his back.

“You have no idea how hard it is. How dark it gets,” he wrote.

The great philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche understood. “The thought of suicide is a great source of comfort; with it a calm passage is to be made across many a bad night.”

Since then, dad has fought valiantly to tame the rabid beast and, in doing so, has emerged wiser and stronger.

After 20 blood clots exploded in his stomach, he suddenly gave up the grog.

The next year, he gave up the smokes.

His latest addiction is buying broken toys from St Vinnies and fixing them for the grandkids.

My children, Taj and Grace, think visiting Poppy Paul is like going to a playcentre.

I could not be more proud of him.

While it sounds like a Hollywood ending, anyone familiar with depression knows it’s not.

For those waiting for that grey cloud to lift, it can be like Waiting for Godot.

Each day seems an eternity.

Eric Bana, who recently spoke about his depressive episodes, finds solace in his family, and “carving out time each day to centre myself”.

Garry McDonald believes in cognitive behavioural therapy.

Andrew Johns manages his bipolar disorder with medication.

Each one suffers a different form of depression.

And each has found his own way of coping.

There’s no shame in self-medicating. Yet many people still feel a sense of failure by ‘succumbing’ to anti-depressants.

The Rolling Stones had it right – whatever gets you through the night, it’s all right.

Some of my friends run marathons. For others, it’s surfing, or meditation. They all swear by oily fish, three times a week. Get it fresh, or take Omega-3 tablets.

One girlfriend simply locks herself in her room for days, refusing to speak until she’s ‘pulled herself together’.

The only way to lift this self-imposed veil of shame is to talk about it.

Talk and talk and talk until there’s nothing left to say.

Women tend to do this naturally: in mothers’ groups, over lunch, coffee, even in the supermarket queue.

We love a chat.

For men, it can be a long and lonely battle. Often, those closest to them have no idea until it’s too late.

Despite Craig Wing’s dark year, he’s come back “very, very strong, holding his head high”, according to team-mates.

As for dad, it’s a daily battle, but one he keeps winning through the use of anti-depressants.

He realizes it’s just like any physical illness – it strikes, it passes, and you try to get on as best you can: trying to bring the black dog to heel.

For more information on depression, contact www.blackdoginstitute.org.au